Death does not scare me; the process behind it does. The fact that there is such a thin line between life and death scares me.

You see with life we know the process;

Adults make love and make the baby magic. The baby is brought to life with the help of skilled professionals and placed into the warm arms of the parent. Very nice and happy.

But death is the opposite.

You are alone as the cold hands of death snatch you away from the ones you love.

The fact that you can be completely fine this moment and the next moment you cease to exist or be driving and you crash but you do not survive. You are walking and you are unfortunate to be in the path of a drunk driver. The scariest of them all? A mother bringing forth a new life but giving up hers at the same moment.

That person you planned to see the next day will get the news of your death and spiral into grief.

All your plans and worries about building a future for yourself taken away from you like they never existed. Those dreams will never become a reality because your physical form gave up on you.

You’re not given a chance to share goodbyes.

Your loved ones …

The pain and confusion that you left behind for them. They are sitting and wondering what went wrong and how it happened all so quickly. You were just here and now you are not? Why is that allowed? They have so many questions that will go unanswered.

Then the suffocating memories come flooding. They remember everything vividly. They feel everything intensely. They appreciate the moments you spent laughing and being happy and regret the moments you spent fighting. If only they could take it all back and make happier memories.

But they can’t

All they can do is send you off peacefully and treasure every picture, every voicemail, every letter, and with time they will become comfortable with the void that is left.

And what about the afterlife?

What happens to one’s soul when one dies. I know religion teaches us that there are heaven and hell.

I still can’t help but wonder what goes on after death.

And if truly there is heaven and hell, how long does it take to get there?

Do they operate on the same 24-hour schedule? Are there days of the week? Or is it just one repeating day for the rest of eternity?

Is there another option? An easier one where your soul just *poofs* into nonexistence?

Life already seems like so much of a hassle that death is supposed to put an end to by bringing peace. But if one is condemned to hell then what difference is it?

The soul isn’t at rest. A whole new cycle of torture begins, according to religious books.

Do they see what’s happening on this side like they do in movies? Are they watching over us like everyone claims they are?

I guess one will never know until one — in fact — dies